If you've tried a Fleshlight or any other kind of sleeve, you might get some identification from this video. Of course, I'm not sure what trying one for the first time knowing you're going to be on camera afterwards would do to your immediate enjoyment.
I'll politely remind them that we are here to celebrate a time when the people of this country welcomed immigrants who didn't speak the local language into their homes, gave them free food, and after dinner had everything they owned taken from them.
In an uncharacteristically positive tone I opined last week that should the GOP inevitably take both houses, they would be saddled with the unenviable task of actually having to do something for the next two years. After nearly six years of accomplishing little more than obstruction, they would actually have to legislate and govern.
Good news. Matt Taibbi is returning to Rolling Stone. After what seemed to have been a tumultuous and brief relationship with eBay founder Pierre Omidyar and his journalistic venture, First Look Media.
So you want to talk about semen? Turns out it may be an antidepressant. How’s that you say? Apparently, Gallup did a study in 2002 involving 293 undergrads and found that women who have unprotected sex and swallow, are happier.
Maybe that wedding in Florida wasn't a wedding at all, but a weekend intensive in a "Guilt-Trip Workshop." Or maybe, the time has come for us to transition from mother and daughter (or, “enemies”) to friends.
Look beyond the superficial, that's the problem with current affairs, you forget about what's important, you allow the agenda to be decided by superficial information -- what am I saying -- what am I talking about -- don't think about what I'm wearing, these things are redundant, superficial -- don't be distracted.
This response is far too common and has been Facebook's standard response to complaints. Threats of rape, murder, beatings, lynching? No problem. Facebook doesn't see that as violating their community standards.
The Bill and Melinda gates foundation put out a call for a better condom and have offered a cash grant. I was going to make some sick joke about putting your money where your mouth is, but that would be inappropriate.
But only in as much if the majority of the effort is being wasted or concentrated on finding the g-spot and no time is being spent elsewhere. Anything that's any good is discovered by accident and comes as a surprise to all parties at the party.
We now live an world in which Alaskan quitter and failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin charges viewers more than Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime to view her very own newsy-type gotcha show and where comedian Jon Stewart has a better handle on current affairs, international politics and sophistry than most cable news channels.
Don’t blame this recent crisis in Iraq on President Obama, either. The president has been pursuing a policy that most Americans agree with- end the wars, bring the troops back home, and let those countries start handling their own peace keeping obligations.
But there was no large metal tube for me to roll into and come screeching out of. And there was no beeping, whirring brain scanner hovering around my head, taking pictures. Instead, the neurologist used techniques and tools that I want to call, “old school,” like: a Kleenex.
It should come as no surprise that the architects and assclowns that started the war in the Iraq have taken the recent violent uprising as an opportunity to blame Obama the magic negro for not only the fiasco, but pretty much the entire war just for good measure.
I will never, ever, want to smell anything that was just recently in or on your mouth. I don’t like looking in a human mouth, or seeing anything come out of it. I don’t want to see your cavities, check your tonsils, or look at your canker sore.
After I helpfully rephrased the question five times, he finally said, "I just couldn't do it." Why? No answer. Do what? No answer. What does that mean? No answer. At ANY time during the last 8 years, did you actually love me? No answer.
What’s happening in Kentucky is just a microcosm of what is happening everywhere,” Oliver said and aired a few ridiculous ads produced for Sen. Mitch McConnell and Democrat challenger Alison Lundergan Grimes.